"Hindsight is a motherfucking wrecking ball.
Sometimes I have these moments of an almost spiritual clarity that are so overwhelming that I can do nothing other than stare off into the void and then every molecule in my body feels like one giant tear welling up and trying to work its way out through my face. These moments always happen when I least expect them — pretty much confirming for me that to truly seek answers one must consciously cease seeking answers, which is something I have always felt intuitively."
You ever have one of those days/weeks/months where you really have to search for meaning? Not in a casual way but you absolutely have to find it, and quickly or else you won't be able to make sense of the existential terror of planet Earth?
Me either, those emotions are for weirdos.
Sometimes I really feel like I have to release a record on BC though, and quick like, or else I might struggle with my own existential concerns. With a well of complex emotions stirring within me the past week, releasing this in an imperfect state seems to be the right choice. In the sense of completing it and trying to resolve the stressful reflections of the past few days. Starting a new project feels important right now.
"The experience that furnishes the material for artistic expression is no longer familiar. It is a strange something that derives its existence from the hinterland of man's mind--that suggests the abyss of time separating us from pre-human ages, or evokes a super-human world of contrasting light and darkness.
It is a primordial experience which surpasses man's understanding, and to which he is therefore in danger of succumbing. the value and the force of the experience are given by its enormity. It arises from timeless depths; it is foreign and cold, many-sided, demonic and grotesque. A grimly ridiculous sample of the enternal chaos--a crimen laesae majestatis humane, to use Nietzshe's words, it bursts asunder our human standard of value and of aesthetic form. The disturbing vision of monstrous and meaningless happenings that in every way exceed the grasp of human feeling and comprehension makes quite other demands upon the powers of the artist than do the experiences of the foreground of life.
These never rend the curtain that veils the cosmos; they never transcend the bounds of the humanly possible, and or this reason are readily shaped to the demands of art, no matter how great a shock to the individual they may be. But the primordial experiences rend from top to bottom the curtain upon which is painted the picture of an ordered world, and allow a glimpse into the unfathomed abyss of what has not yet become. Is it a vision of other worlds, or of the obscuration of the spirit, or of the beginning of things before the age of man, or of the unborn generations of the future? We cannot say that it is any or none of these."
Carl Jung - Modern Man in Search of a Soul.